I was on reality tv and lead a high-flying lifestyle. People envy me — I don't blame them

My life is centred around luxury — and I essentially drink for a living, writes former Real Housewives star Kyla Kirkpatrick.

Champagne importer Kyla Kirkpatrick believes her lifestyle may lead some people to perceive her in a way that isn't accurate. Source: Supplied

Have you ever flirted to make a partner jealous? Do you envy a friend's life? Are people jealous of you? Can we embrace these emotions and use them for good? Watch Insight episode Jealousy on SBS or SBS On Demand.

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Jealousy

episode • Insight • 

News And Current Affairs • 

52m

episode • Insight • 

News And Current Affairs • 

52m

I often feel that people are envious of me — and I understand why.

I mingle with influential people, have lived in Paris and spend a lot of time on superyachts in Monaco as an ambassador for some of the biggest champagne brands in the world.

My life is centred around luxury — and I essentially drink for a living.

I started my career in finance and business, but after reading an article in my late 20s about champagne, I decided to 'start over'.

I then read every book there was about the sparkling wine, and when I ran out of books, I wrote a letter to the author of my favourite.

He replied: "Get on a plane, and I'll teach you everything I know."

So, I bought a one-way ticket to France, and learned with him across Paris, Champagne and the French Riviera.

That was 21 years ago, and now I'm based in Melbourne, where I own two businesses importing champagne to Australia and running tours in the Champagne region.

'I didn't think I would like you'

I receive mixed responses from the people I encounter at the champagne masterclasses or dinners I run.

There will always be women who say to me: "Oh my God, I would love to be you; I want your life."

Others will tell me I'm a genius because I "get to drink champagne from 9am to 9pm".

But perhaps the most common thing I hear from new people, particularly women, is: "I didn't think I'd like you, but you're actually a nice person."

Kyla hosts champagne dinners and champagne classes as part of her work. Source: Supplied

I can't say whether these comments are inspired by jealousy or envy, but either way, they bring up the issue of perception.

I appeared in the fifth season of Real Housewives of Melbourne, a show that arguably invites people to live vicariously through the successful and glamorous lives of others.

With any reality show, you're sometimes going to come across less than peachy, and I also think the perception of my life being all glitz and glam was elevated.

Sure, I might be dolled up a lot of the time on social media, for work events and when I was on the show. But if you knew me, you'd know I'm also doing the grunt work in the warehouse in my jeans, t-shirt and work boots.

And truly, it's taken so much time and effort to get to where I am.

The social media jealousy trap

I believe the glimpses we get of other people's lives on television or Instagram can foster envy and jealousy — whether it's about career, lifestyle or love.

For example, I had a friend of mine message me recently saying: "Oh my God, I've seen my ex-boyfriend with his new girlfriend on Instagram, and she's skinnier than me".

And I was like: "What the f**k? Why would you actually judge yourself based on another woman?"

I often receive hate comments on my social media accounts, and I can only assume the people writing them are acting out of jealousy.

I don't have a personal social media account, and if I didn't have businesses to run, I wouldn't have it at all.

Jealousy mostly comes down to perception, and social media doesn't help.

Kyla believes that perception is at the root of jealousy. Source: Supplied

'Jealousy is not about the other person'

Jealousy is not about the other person; it's about you and how you perceive someone in relation to yourself.

Some people might think my life seems perfect, but it's not — no one's is. But it is colourful and unusual, so I can understand how some people might be envious.

So, when friends ask me if I'm offended when strangers tell me they didn't think they'd like me at first, I say no.

As a woman in my industry, I've learned to let my guard down more quickly and let people in faster — so their initial perception doesn't continue.

I'm not offended because they've gotten to know me, and their opinion has changed.

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